Thursday, September 25th, 2008
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2:19 am - Day One of large needle in abdomin and spine
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so far working bloody great...only a gurgle heard earlier...usually i feel b4 here...now to get past the lovely stoic decision to withdraw off Dr Prescribed meds...i'd cold turey this no problem...but i wanna wok and not wanna kill people so...yea...more tomorow...just hink,,,in maybe a month...he ol flamboyant obnoxious me might me back in the saddle...and if now...month after haha
current mood:  willingly detoxing
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, August 27th, 2008
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5:05 am - INTO THE MAELROM
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Ok i am frickin' lovin' this band...SCI FI meets daddy DEATHmetal...comparisons will be made...but i dont care....it shouldnt...damn good music and neato concept....give it a watch...its worth it even if you hate metal (although after you do watch it...for hating metal...go play tag with one of those big shiny objects that seem to congregate on them roads and streets)
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/JiCldbmWUTU&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/JiCldbmWUTU&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>
current mood:  groggy
current music: A Band of Orcs - Into the Maelstrom
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Monday, June 23rd, 2008
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5:26 am - THESE ARE THE THINGS I THINK OF WHEN THE LIGHTS GO OUT!!
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George Carlin died last night :(
its a thought like this that makes me know that life is now not as much worth living...cuz that man made hilarity about everything that made me want to live...
you were an extremist crazy asshole...and we'll miss ya George
:(
current mood:  crushed
current music: silence
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Thursday, June 19th, 2008
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9:40 pm - Not that anyone really knows...but
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Molly Hatchet - Fall of the Peacemakers...damn good tune
current mood: tired
current music: der
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(comment on this)
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Friday, June 6th, 2008
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3:58 am - Updates...the things i really never give
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hmmm...lets see...finished EMT Basic and passed Certification process...not in as much pain but just have several small things that just suck altogether...im a million times better but one of the problems ive been having is meds causing a slight hormonal imbalance...and well to say the least...hot flashes and anxiety is not something im prone to...especially since it resembles a drop in testosterone level...i liked my high levels...i was happy with that...but blood test will help doc to fix problem...i hope
there are other things but eh...i really dont want to let the internet know much more...aside from trolls...big brother...and the fact its late and im tired i dont wanna type more than im prepared to have to explain if need be
just know that failure is far from happening
current mood:  blah
current music: Fear Factory - Zero Signal
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, April 14th, 2008
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12:09 pm - You want fair...try another lifetime
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Its not fair when you can experience a week or so feeling better then one day its bad then the next its just the regular spiraling down of pain and crap feeling. I only blame the gov't on this one for treating Dr's like drug dealers and making them think about their license before their patient. Tho i guess me losing my grip on sanity and respect for my sacred body is just what i've come to expect from this lifetime.
current mood:  crappy
current music: Ni hao...go farm some gold
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Thursday, February 21st, 2008
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12:27 am - what to say what to say
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well i dont really post anymore...on both forms of media i use...but i've pretty much decided to keep to myself since i never have anything positive to say...like ever
did my first Ambulance ride today...i was with a good crew...loved it...but i worked my ass off...which is good considering i absolutely loathed my ER clinical at Mt. Clemens General...definitely can say i learned more today than i have learned even in class...see the problem with class is practical application...and when u have real life patient whom i can hurt and or maim...u get a lil fidgety...but i handled myself quite well and even shocked my crew...*RAWK*
after this semester im probably going to be made inpatient at U of M research hospital...both my GI dr's and my internist are stumped on whats causing the CAP (chronic abdominal pain) so they are just kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place as to how to handle treating me until i go there...cause "pain" is hard to treat if you have no idea whats causing the pain...me personally...i just want a donor GI tract...cuz uh...a life time of palliative treatment is just not an option...i admire the character of house...i just dont want to be EXACTLY like him
aside from that im just busting ass in school...and work...no giving up...Lord knows id give anything to have one day of peace...even a week off wouldnt give me that...but i stay at home...either cuz im being responsible...or in pain...or both...loneliness is becoming a way of life...but i guess in the long run this is what needs to be done...if not...then i have more years of what im pretty sure is going to be a long long life of doing whats next best for my life...........................yup
current mood: sleepy
current music: Eric Johnson - Cliffs of Dover
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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Saturday, November 24th, 2007
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3:13 am - It's not so much the pain...more the actual knife
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The rain drops just beg to hit me
current mood: blah
current music: In Flames - Take this Life
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Wednesday, November 14th, 2007
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10:34 pm - -note to self-
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Tuesday, November 13th, 2007
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7:47 pm - African sleeping sickness
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or so it seems i have...except i have yet to be bitten by a Tsetse fly...or even remotely BEEN to Africa...gotten any of that sort of dirty blood near an open wound...or slept with anyone who has had A)... B)...or C)...EVER...but all i want to do is sleep...and i never feel like I've slept...ugh...at least i have the pain managed...now life is bearable
per Sir Smoke-A-Lot maybe i need a "Backeotomy" haha...but i think i might see the chiropractor again...i seemingly slept better after i got adjusted so maybe i just need to get the back in line again...cuz i know my scoliosis hasn't been checked out in awhile =/
current mood: sleepy
current music: Fear Factory - Self Immolation
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, October 17th, 2007
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2:02 am - I miss my muse
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ugh...i really wish i coulda done more music with sandor...we made great music :(
current mood:  nostalgic
current music: Syntax of Devotion - Lust and Despair
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, October 1st, 2007
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2:21 pm - p.s
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wow...these mommies won't give up...whats next...no vaccinations for our little ones with barely any immune systems cuz pharmaceutical companies lie to us and just want all our money.
current mood:  amused
current music: Dethklok - Blood Ocean
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(8 comments | comment on this)
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1:13 pm - Wow...mommies with loaded guns
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Wow...i made comment in a friend's journal about my view on breastfeeding in public.
Which is I don't think it's the best place to feed a child, but if it's completely necessary find a quiet place and do it.
and of course i added my usual flair and humor to analogies...and i got like 20 comments from some really pissed off (and ignorant) mommies
they even went as far as to tell me im the pervert and that i have problems...all cuz my views of CHILD SAFETY dont fit into their gungho mommy desire to be able to whip out a tit when they want to feed their child in the middle of a crowded area
I'm sorry if i offended anyone...but I'm sorry if the dirty, crowded, loud area you are in with all the people who completely and totally care about you and your child's safety isn't exactly deemed the best place in my opinion to feed your newborn. And yes I know there are extenuating circumstances that come into play, but if they are out of the norm then they deserve out of the norm treatment (not against that).
More importantly...i feel sorry the baby who has that mommy who can't think ahead and see all that for herself...and weighs the pro's and con's of it for her child...NOT her ease...comfort...or views...but for her CHILD.
I don't get their logic...I say it's not best done in public...and i get told im against breasts...and im a pervert?!?!?
And yes some women have fussy babies...if you have exhausted all other options...then why attack me if nothing else has worked...im not writing a book here...general facts and opinions go for GENERAL things...this is LJ...you want specifics...find a BOOK...im not prepared to type everything in my textbooks and what i've learned through the years
This is why I will shy away from politics (and why i love chess)...I can't stand people who can't think for themselves and or look ahead at future ideas (or moves)
current mood:  annoyed
current music: Dethklok - Go Into the Water
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(11 comments | comment on this)
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Friday, September 14th, 2007
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4:30 am - one really isnt the loneliest number
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Boy o boy...i cannot wait til some people get older and realize all the dumb crap they used to write about...and do...
i realized it and stopped it...just kinda amusing seeing how many years go by waiting for others to realize it too
current mood: blah
current music: Buckethead - Nottingham Lace
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, September 11th, 2007
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11:35 pm - More pure than a drunk chicks motives
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I just found myself a gem of an instrumental tune
i'd like to thank KFC for what they contributed to this man's cause
current mood:  mellow
current music: Buckethead - Padmasana
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, August 27th, 2007
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4:21 pm - Her body's been laid to rest, but her memory is still strong
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Today was Stephanie's funeral, her coffin was carried by horse drawn carriage. It was a beautiful ceremony and will always be in my memory. I am glad all this is over because the sadness can now be replaced with relief and healing, worry replaced with hope and gladness.
Thank you to all those who wished warm and kind thoughts. Stephanie, my family, and I are blessed with all the kind people out there who kept all of us in their prayers. May God be with you in your endeavors and may he show you the kindness you have shown my family.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart :)
current mood:  relieved
current music: Syntax of Devotion - Tragedy of a Broken Heart
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Thursday, August 23rd, 2007
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9:15 pm - My lil sister has finally found peace
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My sister, Stephanie Shewell, passed away at 3pm today, August 23. She went peacefully in her sleep, in fact, no one knew she had already left us. The family is in mourning, but also glad that she is no longer in pain anymore. For those who may be interested, the viewing is this Sunday the 26th at Calcaterra funeral home at 15 and Schoenherr from Noon to 9pm and the funeral is on Monday but has not been set in stone.
I will miss Stephanie terribly, she was always a ray of happiness even in her weakened state. I don't really know what else to say, she was wonderful to be around. I will miss her sarcasm, her quick wits, and just her being around. I miss and love you Stephanie, and I will see you again when I too leave this Earth.
current mood: sad
current music: Machine Head - The Burning Red
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(22 comments | comment on this)
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Thursday, August 9th, 2007
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2:29 pm - bam da lam
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black betty had a child
current mood:  silly
current music: Ram Jam
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, June 21st, 2007
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11:25 pm - I have a lovely bunch of coconuts
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i moved
i love it
one down...one to go on making my life better
i miss roman...he called me today
if anyone desires to visit me...hit me up...itd be nice to have people WANNA come see me again
current mood: excited
current music: Gomez - Get Miles
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, June 18th, 2007
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12:08 pm - You wanna hear the dumbest policy in the world
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ok...get this folks
I WAS DENIED ACCEPTANCE INTO THE SURGICAL TECH PROGRAM THIS YEAR
why
because i was a transfer student...even tho i had better grades than more than half the people...people who spent ALL their money at Baker got first dibs...i knew this Saturday...but i literally just heard this from the mouth of the program director 3 minutes ago...she said she had to follow policy and she felt very guilty about it cuz lets face it...they took B and C students over me...and A student...why...cuz i transfered some credits to Baker
well at least i was told i was better and deserved it more
current mood: pissed off
current music: Dethklok - Hatredcopter
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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krayzee's journal